June 2012
90 posts
May 2012
77 posts
The new titles in the Harry Potter series
harry potter and the crazy ass rock
harry potter and the hogwarts basement
harry potter and the guy who went to jail
harry potter and the big ass fire cup
harry potter and the secret club no one can know about
harry potter and the vandalized textbook
harry potter and the triangle circle stick
That awkward moment when you say something really...
totally-relatable:
First Reaction: Wow, how the fuck did I think about it?
Second Reaction: I’M A POET!!!!
So many funny relatable posts in this blog!
HIM and EB??
“Leaders are born, but Heros and Villains are created.”
– The Great Shannon
Also
After I fell back to sleep, I dreamt that we all went to the karaoke bar.
and this gorgeous blond in a yellow shirt (I think I knew her) was singing this song that had the lines “sun shine” and “Bakini Line”
I don’t think I ever heard the song
the the melody is still in my head
after I’m awake 0.0
12 tags
Last night I was dreaming I was on a beach, with my mega Best friend and a group of peopl. It was a late night so there was an enormous high tide. And, while walking on the beach, I got super excited that I could go hunt for shells the next morning. I’d get up bright and early, like 4 am.
So, when my alarm went off and woke me up, I was disappoint that it was already 6:30am. That’s a...
9 tags
6 tags
A wild scorpion appeared...
ikuni-hattori:
carinemonster:
Oh hey little guy! Whutchu doing down there on my kitchen floor?
Just chillin’? Would you like a snack, or a beverage?
No? Oh I know just the thing!
There we go. Comfy?
And this is why I live in a state that’s too cold for wild scorpions to live.
Zodiac Signs and the weapons they'd use for...
Aries: A knife, lots of stab wounds, especially ones in the face; most likely a rage kill. After they were done stabbing you, they'd start ripping you limb from limb, even if you were already dead.
Taurus: Their bare hands, and they'd strangle you to death. They'd stare into your eyes intensely as they suffocated you to death, maybe even adding in a few dramatic "I got you in the end, you know," phrases while doing it.
Gemini: It all depends on what is convenient for them to use as a murder weapon-- they're clever, so they'd figure it out quickly. Most cannibals are Geminis, so they'd probably eat you afterwards. If you really fucked them over, maybe they'd cut off your hands and watch you bleed to death, probably laughing while doing it.
Cancer: They'd take you to the beach and find a secluded area only to tie you to a boulder in the shallows of the beach and watch the tide slowly drown you and sea creatures start to pick at your helpless/crying for help corpse.
Leo: They'd make a whole sport of it-- they'd find a bunch of really sadistic, fucked up people on the black market and put you in a pit filled with big cats (especially lions), you'd here "let the games begin!" and a spotlight would come on the death pit as you're torn to shreds.
Virgo: They'd make it look like an accident somehow. Regardless, no one would ever find out that they did it, because they'd cover their tracks well enough.
Libra: Similar to Virgo, but they'd definitely pretend to be distraught by what happened, and mask that they were involved really well...but in order to get you back, they'd get your family, your friends, and other people you cared about to show THEM sympathy, and to be on their side.
Scorpio: Succinolcholine injection after chloroforming the person helpless. (sp? A horse tranquilizer that is extremely hard to detect and basically make the person POWERLESS to do ANYTHING except suffocate to death. It makes all muscles go soft.) and they'd talk to you about how powerless and helpless you were until you died.
Sagittarius: Beating the shit out of someone until they were literally an unrecognizable bloody mass.
Capricorn: Shooting someone in the head, mafioso style. They'd want it to be quick and clean, and they'd have organized a team to cover for them, dump the body, and probably hired Virgo to hide the evidence.
Aquarius: It'd either be something really strange, whacky, and off the wall, like killing someone in the middle of a play by planning to have a stage light dropped on them, or they'd make an example of you in front of a bunch of their "followers" which they'd most likely have if they were crazy enough to kill.
Pisces: They'd capture you and play surgeon, the whole time ranting and raving about "how it feels" to feel pain as intensely as the emotional pain that they feel. They'd make sure that the kill took a long time so that they had a captive audience for a long time- another reason they'd prolongue it is they'd enjoy being the predator instead of the victim for once.
I Approve.
17 tags
Inspirational Church Message:
When we worry, we loose years off our lives, and nothing tends to get better. Paranoia seemingly eats away our own health and body. So, what can we do when we’re worried? Try to think what it is that you worry about, and then question: “is that more important to me than my life?”
Like money, “is money more important than being alive”
Does (my god) care about money...
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Why I'll always be single:
I want a guy who:
who won’t cheat
who makes the first move on our date
who doesn’t judge my past or personality
who buys me presents with out wanting anything in return
who will make me a mix CD of songs that make him think of me
who makes a point to remember my birthday
who will plan ways to surprise me
who will wait up for my call
who will respond to my call at 2am
who will...
10 tags
Eating M&M's on hot days
They have a thin candy shell
so they melt in your mouth
not in your hands
When someone's telling me their life issues and...
totally-relatable:
I hate when they do it at the movie theatre … -_-
27 tags
People who ask stupid questions should just get...
So, there were numerous occasions when someone who’s, basically old, and comes up to me and ask me about my hair (which is currently red and awesome)
like Gerard Way.
Anyways, this old man, probably 50, comes out and asks me what color my hair is. My natural color?? or what it is right now? He wanted to know if my ‘red’ hair was like fuschia something fuck if I know what...
SUMMER BREAK
totally-relatable:
EXPECTATION:
REALITY:
How the fuck do some people get...
totally-relatable:
That awkward moment when you're singing your song...
totally-relatable:
Then you try to record your voice and it turned out you sound like a dying duck…
So many funny relatable posts in this blog!
Everytime!! So I stopped recording myself
